One Year (and 18 days)

So, its officially been over a year since surgery. I continue to do very well, and though I still struggle sometimes with endurance, coordination and tightness in my arm, I am progressing very steadily, which I am very happy with. The endurance and coordination are more full arm related, and surprisingly, the tightness that I get most tends to be in my forearm, but in reality, even those things are very minor. Oftentimes, I forget I had the issues that I did. I mean, the only reason it really comes up  now is that  I am currently taking one Freshman class at school this semester, because it was one of the two classes I didn't take the semester I had surgery. But, after this semester, I will be completely caught up, and will be able to move on from the ordeal further. I'm not saying I will try to forget the experience by any means, but it won't be something that affects my everyday life anymore.

I'm not sure I have ever said this here, but I was expected to get about 80% use back in my shoulder. Now, you may think, she was probably so excited to hear that after a year in a sling. You would to be wrong. I know that sounds weird, I mean, I had been told by multiple doctors that there was nothing they could do nothing for me, that this may be permanent. But, for some reason, it never affected me the way that hearing 80% did. Maybe I was in denial of what was happening to me. But really, I think the whole time I thought it was just I hadn't found the right doctor yet. To hear the right doctor, the expert, say 80%, crushed me. With every other appointment, I was just frustrated with the lack of knowledge about what was going on. With this appointment, I had officially lost something that I would probably never get back. In my head, I had not only lost 20% of my shoulder use, I had also lost the possibility of normal. I mean, usually I think that normal is overrated, but in this situation, that was not the case. I eventually got more used to the 80% idea in the months leading up to and after the surgery, and became grateful for what I had, but I always had that hope of 100%. Now, I have realized that I have the chance of getting that 100%. Out of any of the grades I have gotten in my life, the 95% I have in the area of Left Shoulder Post 2006, with the possibility of a 100%, is the one I am most happy about.

Ten Months and an Anniversary

So, its a little late (but only by about a week) but last week was the two year anniversary of the sled crash. That was the beginning of 14 months in a sling, which sucked. However, it was also the first step in finding a solution to the overall problem, otherwise I may have settled and continued on with a mediocre at best shoulder that I thought couldn't be fixed. Anyway, its definitely a day to remember, whether good or bad.

The good news is, ten months out my shoulder is still doing very well. This winter I was able to ski with two arms for the first time in two years, which I was afraid would take some practice after a season of one armed skiing, but I seemed to have picked up where I left off. However, skiing definitely gets the whole body working, and it definitely made my arm (and whole body) quite sore, which was not something I expected. Anyway, with the addition of Advil for a day or two, I was fine.

Otherwise, the shoulder is doing great. I still get very tight in my lower arm sometimes but I think the only thing I truly struggle with is coordination. When I say that I struggle with coordination, what I mean is, I can do pretty much anything with my arm that I want or need to, but somethings still take a lot of thought. Things like lifting something over my head, or using silverware, or connecting circuits (something I have to do on a regular basis) are challenging, and not really for physical reasons. Actually, from that list, lifting things over my head is the easiest by far, and that was on the list of things that might not happen. On the other hand, holding a piece of food down with a fork is probably one of the hardest things I have to do. This is very frustrating. Think of any sport that you have watched, but haven't really played to any real extent. It looks great, and you understand the concept, but when you actually try it, its a disaster. That's my left hand trying to hold a fork. Anyway, it takes a lot of practice, and a lot of reminding myself that my arm is basically ten months old. Also, let's face it, I'm not a very coordinated person. At all. So, maybe in a couple of months, when my arm will be a whole year old, maybe then I'll have it down. But if that's my only complaint a year out, then I'll be fine with that, too.